Investment....

Investing has been on my mind a whole lot lately. Not in the bank, not in property, not in stocks, but in myself...and mine and Bill's future. I have the best man in the world for me who gives me the comfort to explore additional investment. The best way to articulate this is "I have an overwhelming desire to do something that matters and I realize desire is one thing and changed behavior will get me there." I'm making this my mantra because it's so relative to how I feel in many different areas of my life.

Is it the tragedy in Haiti that has me thinking this way? Is it Bill being away from me for a year? Is it the envy I feel of HIS impactful experiences and work 'that matters'? Perhaps it's my friend who is the hospital after an accident and the helplessness I feel to take her pain and lengthy recovery away. Or is it the acquaintances I have or people I've come across recently who've lost a battle with cancer?

I just don't want to waste this year..this opportunity to do entirely what my heart desires. And don't get me wrong - Bill has always and does always provide me the security and endless opportunity to do whatever my heart desires. The only problem being that the only thing my heart desired to do during our first year of marriage and first year of being in the same city was to be with him...in the same room, same space, same everything. It is in this year - 2010 - that I must grab hold of the opportunity to figure out what "matters" to me in addition to the intense love and unconditional commitment I have to the love of my life.

The tough part is that no one can tell me what this looks like. However, I feel like I'm in the best place right now and we're only in the beginning of our journey. And it's only with the sincere and enjoyable friends that I have here in Tampa AND my BFF relationship with my parents..and friends from 'home' that I feel strong enough to face this year in this way.

Someone once told me, accountability is what you do when no one is watching, and I've never realized this to be so true until now.

I'm onto something here...I know it...I feel it. So stay tuned :)