For many of my friends...you anticipated the day I'd get one - since Bill has his fair share and all. However, I said very confidently each time I was asked - I don't have a stance against them, but I just don't know what I'd want so bad or what I'd be so passionate about to put on my body forever. Forever.
However, I now know. It's a word. One word. Irreplaceable. After all, it's what I am. But it's the journey I've been on to get here and the journey I continue to take to remember...that I never want to forget - THAT is why it's worth putting on my body forever. A permanent reminder - something that will ALWAYS be relevant. I'm irreplaceable. Brandi you're irreplaceable.
In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different (attributed to Coco Chanel). I read this quote at the most perfect time and it stuck...in a permanent way.
When we're trying to please others, be who we think the world needs us to be, be who we think we SHOULD be, be who we think others want us to be, be who we think we need to be to keep our job, to make others happy, to do the right thing....not only is it exhausting, but it depletes the 'difference' and makes us replaceable.
I don't want to be replaceable in my work life, my family life, my friend life, any life. I WANT to be different - always have. It's the reminder of this instinct that my "irreplaceable" gives me.
I am worthy. I am unique. And I offer a whole lot...in an irreplaceable way.
Tattoos rock! And for those still doubting - you're right...I didn't get one, but if I did it'd be this. ;)
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
My gratitude journal
I'm feeling VERY nostalgic; perhaps it's because Bill is gone this weekend...the first that he's left the house for the weekend since he's been home from Afghanistan in 4 months. Without any plans this weekend, it's been a great opportunity to relax and reflect. So here it is...
I'm most thankful for my friends and my family. Especially for the support you showed while Bill was away. I feel indebted forever..and am so grateful for the relationships that have been made stronger because of it.
My family - I was nervous to tell you he was leaving. In fact, nervous doesn't even do it justice (Bethany knows). I thought I was going to be sick when I had to tell you we had made this decision together. But you did just like I normally would've expected and you wrapped your arms around me - always there to talk, listen to the same stories over and over, and listen when I didn't have a story at all. Especially you, Mom. For you Mom - I am so grateful. I'm also grateful for what I've learned about your experience as a wife and mother through this trial I've faced. Thank you for everything.
My Tampa Girls - I don't even know where to start. You all welcomed me from the beginning, but when Bill left - you all truly stepped up. Our friendships became stronger, your concern was so sincere, and your commitment to making sure I was okay was unsurpassed. Tracy - I remember our first REAL (lengthy and productive) shopping trip together. I never KNEW I liked shopping that much until you and I did it together. And then there's the tri-dates we had; I never felt like a third wheel with you and Matt and on the contrary felt like I was exactly where I needed to be; thank you. Liz - the day you came with flowers and just to say hi - when it was everything I could do to answer the door and choke back tears in conversation...I'm so thankful. Jessica - if I wouldn't have met you - I don't know where I'd be. The irony of our similar situations at that very moment created a quick...and now life-long bond. Lindsay - you knew what I didn't know and I have always felt comfort in saying anything and everything to you about how I was feeling. You set a wonderful example of how it can work and for that...I'm eternally grateful. Sally - Our time was cut short, but your spirit is contagious and one I will never forget. I have so much admiration for how you live life and I take lessons from you daily :) Donna P. - My Tampa Mom and friend - you were the one I told first and yes, it was through tears on the way to the golf tournament. I can't imagine being with anyone else that day and I know it was no accident. Per your experience and calming way, you helped me through that day and subsequent days like no one else could. Amanda - You're a strong, confident, knowledgeable woman and I now have the pleasure of calling you my friend. When you invited me to church...it changed everything. It was the first time I opened my heart to the idea of handing everything over to God; it was the most peace I had felt in a LONG time and I'm so thankful you invited me and supported me. Christie - you are just a ray of shining light. Every day is happiness around you. You're supportive, enthusiastic, intelligent, compassionate, and more. I am so thankful to have met you and again..I know the timing was no accident.
Glen and Kelly Hatchell - Home Buddies NE Tampa - Again, I hardly know where to start. I invited you into my home from a mere Internet search and yet, I attribute a GREAT deal of my support, survival, and education to you guys. You came into our home when I was exhausted by the dogs and their behavior. You didn't call me crazy (to my face :)) and you worked with them as if they were your own. You spoiled me as far as 'dog walking services' go FOREVER, but I am eternally grateful for your friendship, your sincere love and commitment to our dogs, and simply for the people you are. I think of you (and thank you) every single time I put the dogs in "place" or do the door routine. I brought you into our lives for the dogs and yet, you gave ME more than I bargained for in a most spectacular way.
My Greensboro and Raleigh Girls - All of you made sure we stayed in touch although everyone's lives were fast paced. The visits, the phone calls, the updates..every single one made it seem like things were 'normal' and that is just what I needed. Thank you for caring, thanks for listening, thanks for calling. I am so thankful for your friendships.
And Bethany - I truly don't know where to begin when it comes to thanking you for your unconditional friendship. You are always a phone call away armed with the best advice, the most sincere listening ear, the laugh when I didn't want to laugh, the push when I didn't know I needed pushing, the conversation when I just wanted to talk. You are a constant and I am eternally grateful.
This list could go on and on...I'm thankful for Adrienne the realtor I met when I called about the rental house we're now in in Raleigh. She's a spunky, successful business woman, who took me under her wing and got us in a great house for our transition back to Raleigh. Unbeknownst to her, she teaches me daily about living your passion.
The Raleigh Riding crew - Lisa J. - the number of times you've called and invited me, encouraged me to ride, included me in events, called to say 'hi' - our friendship has flourished and I'm so extremely grateful.
My heart explodes with gratitude; because of all of YOU (and those I have left out but you know who you are) I am who I am. I like who I am and am thankful for who I am and am more thankful to have you all who have contributed a great deal.
Thank you for your friendships.
Sincerely,
Brandi
I'm most thankful for my friends and my family. Especially for the support you showed while Bill was away. I feel indebted forever..and am so grateful for the relationships that have been made stronger because of it.
My family - I was nervous to tell you he was leaving. In fact, nervous doesn't even do it justice (Bethany knows). I thought I was going to be sick when I had to tell you we had made this decision together. But you did just like I normally would've expected and you wrapped your arms around me - always there to talk, listen to the same stories over and over, and listen when I didn't have a story at all. Especially you, Mom. For you Mom - I am so grateful. I'm also grateful for what I've learned about your experience as a wife and mother through this trial I've faced. Thank you for everything.
My Tampa Girls - I don't even know where to start. You all welcomed me from the beginning, but when Bill left - you all truly stepped up. Our friendships became stronger, your concern was so sincere, and your commitment to making sure I was okay was unsurpassed. Tracy - I remember our first REAL (lengthy and productive) shopping trip together. I never KNEW I liked shopping that much until you and I did it together. And then there's the tri-dates we had; I never felt like a third wheel with you and Matt and on the contrary felt like I was exactly where I needed to be; thank you. Liz - the day you came with flowers and just to say hi - when it was everything I could do to answer the door and choke back tears in conversation...I'm so thankful. Jessica - if I wouldn't have met you - I don't know where I'd be. The irony of our similar situations at that very moment created a quick...and now life-long bond. Lindsay - you knew what I didn't know and I have always felt comfort in saying anything and everything to you about how I was feeling. You set a wonderful example of how it can work and for that...I'm eternally grateful. Sally - Our time was cut short, but your spirit is contagious and one I will never forget. I have so much admiration for how you live life and I take lessons from you daily :) Donna P. - My Tampa Mom and friend - you were the one I told first and yes, it was through tears on the way to the golf tournament. I can't imagine being with anyone else that day and I know it was no accident. Per your experience and calming way, you helped me through that day and subsequent days like no one else could. Amanda - You're a strong, confident, knowledgeable woman and I now have the pleasure of calling you my friend. When you invited me to church...it changed everything. It was the first time I opened my heart to the idea of handing everything over to God; it was the most peace I had felt in a LONG time and I'm so thankful you invited me and supported me. Christie - you are just a ray of shining light. Every day is happiness around you. You're supportive, enthusiastic, intelligent, compassionate, and more. I am so thankful to have met you and again..I know the timing was no accident.
Glen and Kelly Hatchell - Home Buddies NE Tampa - Again, I hardly know where to start. I invited you into my home from a mere Internet search and yet, I attribute a GREAT deal of my support, survival, and education to you guys. You came into our home when I was exhausted by the dogs and their behavior. You didn't call me crazy (to my face :)) and you worked with them as if they were your own. You spoiled me as far as 'dog walking services' go FOREVER, but I am eternally grateful for your friendship, your sincere love and commitment to our dogs, and simply for the people you are. I think of you (and thank you) every single time I put the dogs in "place" or do the door routine. I brought you into our lives for the dogs and yet, you gave ME more than I bargained for in a most spectacular way.
My Greensboro and Raleigh Girls - All of you made sure we stayed in touch although everyone's lives were fast paced. The visits, the phone calls, the updates..every single one made it seem like things were 'normal' and that is just what I needed. Thank you for caring, thanks for listening, thanks for calling. I am so thankful for your friendships.
And Bethany - I truly don't know where to begin when it comes to thanking you for your unconditional friendship. You are always a phone call away armed with the best advice, the most sincere listening ear, the laugh when I didn't want to laugh, the push when I didn't know I needed pushing, the conversation when I just wanted to talk. You are a constant and I am eternally grateful.
This list could go on and on...I'm thankful for Adrienne the realtor I met when I called about the rental house we're now in in Raleigh. She's a spunky, successful business woman, who took me under her wing and got us in a great house for our transition back to Raleigh. Unbeknownst to her, she teaches me daily about living your passion.
The Raleigh Riding crew - Lisa J. - the number of times you've called and invited me, encouraged me to ride, included me in events, called to say 'hi' - our friendship has flourished and I'm so extremely grateful.
My heart explodes with gratitude; because of all of YOU (and those I have left out but you know who you are) I am who I am. I like who I am and am thankful for who I am and am more thankful to have you all who have contributed a great deal.
Thank you for your friendships.
Sincerely,
Brandi
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