Saturday, June 19, 2010

Halfway Point

The one thing to be sad about throughout this experience is that the love of my life and best friend aren't here, in person, day-to-day. However, all the other factors are things that make us better individuals and better partners for one another.

I've always considered myself a strong, independent woman. However, there have definitely been times in my life I needed a reminder. And actually, I married one of the best reminders, November 1, 2008. However, during that first year of marriage, I wanted no-conflict, a clean house, a husband who did the yard work and cleaned the garage, and I let Bill make most of the decisions - big and small. All of this, a happy, subconscious, choice of mine.

In a nutshell, this first 6 months has been an opportunity to "reconnect with my independent self," as my hubby put it - and he's right. It also feels very good.

When I moved here one week before our wedding, I moved to "Bill's city" with "Bill's friends" and we went to "Bill's hot spots"....all something I was more than happy to do. But now, I know my way around town, I have my preferences of where to go, and his friends have become my friends and I've got my own friends that I was able to introduce him too during his time at home. And for friends who know my challenge with geography, I sometimes had a better suggestion for getting from point A to point B, for him. :) This shared knowledge of the place we call home, although sounds small, proved really fulfilling for the both of us during his visit.

Our house - it's a great house. We combined a lot of my furniture with his and we haven't spent the time or money to create the Brandi and Bill style we want throughout, but while he's away...I've certainly learned more about what I want that to look like. In the beginning, I wanted the house to look the same when he came home as when he left. However, a good friend suggested a few things and I got the 'nerve' to experiment. I've moved furniture, added color, re-organized, and when Bill came home...we did more of the same...together.

As for the dogs, the dogs are definitely MY dogs. There's no way around it. However, Bill let me take the lead during the break and was also an awesome partner. I love the responsibility they require, I love knowing what's best for them (as best anyone can for animals), and I love having them around. They too loved having daddy home - the rough housing is much more fun with dad than with mom :)

What I've learned up to this point is priceless: I've learned to trust myself. I've lived on my own before, but never with this much responsibility and distance from family.

The confidence I've gained in these 6 months has made me a better partner for when he finally comes home. And his visit home, along with our rediscovery of each other, confirmed this to be true.

Until Next Time...

Until next time....

I will remember your scent.

How soft your hair is.

What your face feels like when I hold it in a kiss.

I grin from ear to ear just thinking of our laughter.

I will work towards the personal goals we discussed....and the collective ones too.

I will love on these pups as if there were two of us here :)

And I will think of you constantly and anxiously await your return.

I love you with all of my heart, darlin. Be safe and hurry back.