Christmas Message 2009

It's roughly 7pm here in NC and in just 2 hours...I will wish the love of my life "Merry Christmas" via skype. It's our second Christmas as a married couple..and not only will I say Merry Christmas 9.5 hours before it actually happens for those of us in the states, but I will be saying it via video phone. It's times like this that you COULD wonder why...why you're where you are...why does it have to be this way...why did you ALLOW it to be this way. And this, for the last two days, is all I could come up with:

I love the way his lunch box rests above the refrigerator and I get to use it whenever I want :) He's always had the best and I have lunch box envy :)

I love that when I've done laundry, his clothes are still in the wash; I'm folding, seeing, putting away...until he comes home.

I absolutely love turning the corner to our home and seeing his car in the driveway. It's not the same excitement as when I knew that meant he was home...but it's similar. I know he's WITH me...and he's COMING home.

I love the smell of his car. It smells like our date nights..our errands..our road trips...him, behind the wheel.

I love all the gadgets we have in the house..whether they work for me or not...they remind me of him and how much HE loves them.

I love the dogs for obvious reasons, but also because it was a decision WE made to get the two of them and their personalities EXUDE Bill's influence. I know they too anxiously await his return.

I love that I have my dop kit hung at my parents' house exactly where he would hang his..if he were here.

I love that I made the drive for US..from Tampa to NC..uneventful and in HIS car. I stopped where WE stop, I drove like HE would drive, I made it safe for all of us...just like he would.

I love saying his name. I love saying "my husband." I love the questions I get about how he is...because I LOVE talking about him.

I share all this to say...of course I wish he was with me tomorrow. Of course I wish he was with me on my birthday two days later. And of course I wish this were a short departure. However, since he's not going to be there...and since it's not a short amount of time...I focus on the intense love and emotion and awesome memories we make on an everyday basis. I don't have to get a Christmas card from him...or even an anniversary present or card to know how much he loves me. I know he wants what I want more than anything on this planet...and as adamant as we both can be.....I know we'll get it.

Merry Christmas, my love, and know that you - on November 1, 2008 - were the greatest, most fulfilling, everlasting, gift I've ever received and will ever need.